The psychology behind the port-breakup stress and depression varies among both genders. The changes and reactions towards different situations observed in the behavior of males are very different from those of females.
If you are to learn the differences in the mindset during different phases of post-breakup time, then you have landed on the right page.
Here we will describe the behavioral differences during different time phases after the breakup.
Highlights:
In this article following main theme points will be discussed;
- The situations faced by both genders in the initial days after the breakup when emotional stress is at its peak.
- The problems faced during the recovery phase after breakup and management of stress.
- The lasting impact on the behavior of both genders following the breakup even after the stress is relieved.
The situation in the initial days of a breakup
The situation faced in the initial days following the breakup is considered the worst one. The stress, depression, and anxiety are actually at their peak and a person feels like standing nowhere whether he is a boy or a girl.
The differences lie in how they respond to various situations.
1. Stress management
There already exists a huge stress after a breakup and even a slight stress from other surrounding things can trigger a violent response in both genders.
For boys:
Boys are normally good at managing stress but after a breakup, when a boy gets separated from a girl, his stress management is lost. He will become tenser unusually and becomes easily stressed about normal things that were normal for him to tackle before the breakup.
For girls:
The girls are normally not that much good at stress management compared to boys. But after a breakup, a girl faces a little bit less lack in stress management compared to boys. This is because they possess mostly temporary emotional feelings that don’t last long. Hence they jump back on track soon compared to boys.
2. Missing the comfort of being together
The most disturbing thing that is being faced after a breakup is the moments of intimacy and closeness. This causes emotional depression in both genders.
For boys:
The attachment and intimacy possessed by boys is a bit higher and more lasting compared to girls. They miss the comfort much more and the moments spent with that girl they were in a relationship with.
For girls:
The female gender loves care, love, and intimacy but this doesn’t matter from which person they get it. They can recover from the emotional depression as soon as they get that comfort from another person.
3. Handling the emotional disaster
The emotions don’t find the person to be expressed to after the breakup. This thing is hurtful for both genders because of the rush of emotions.
For boys:
The emotional disaster destroys the personality of a boy to a large extent. This is because of his unwillingness to move on in life. The emotional disaster pushes him back in all aspects of life and he becomes unable to express anything in the right way.
For girls:
Girls are good in case of their personality maintenance because they forget the emotionally depressed moments more quickly. They unload the burden of breakup from their minds and accept to move on in their life.
4. Deprived of self-confidence
The loss of confidence seems a natural thing after the breakup because of the setbacks in trust and doubts about the personal self.
For boys:
The loss of self-confidence happens because of the emotional trauma faced by the boys. They possess deep emotions and the breakup hurts the emotions to the extreme. They start to think that their personality and confidence are not up to the mark.
For girls:
The girls still maintain a handsome level of their personality because of more self-obsession. Most girls love their personalities more than boys and don’t lose that much confidence even after the emotional trauma faced because of a breakup.
5. Losing the temper over small things
The lack of temperament is induced by the stress and emotional damage caused by breakups in both genders.
For boys:
The sensitivity towards different situations is increased after a breakup because of built-in aggressiveness in their nature. They start to lose their temper even on those things that were normal to them before the breakup.
For girls:
The less aggressive nature of most girls results in less devastating results after a breakup. But a girl also reacts according to their mood and the amount of stress faced at that time by her.
6. Controlling the intimate desires
Intimate desires become killers when they are not fulfilled which can result in severe damage to the mood and behavior of both genders.
For boys:
Boys can control their desires even when not fulfilled at the right time. This need also disturbs their mood and routine, but they can control the desire to some extent. Their physical intimacy is a bit less than their emotional intimacy.
For girls:
The personality of girls is such that they have reduced tolerance to desires. They are unable to control their intimate desires and this can disturb their mood to a great extent compared to boys. This disturbance is reflected in their attitude and behavior until their desires are fulfilled.
7. Surviving the pain of losing a close relation
The pain of losing someone close to your heart affects the behavior severely and this change is clearly reflected in the attitude of both genders.
For Boys:
The pain of losing a person close to your heart is hurtful but for a guy who has a large social circle, this effect becomes reduced. The friends and social circle compensate for the loss and keep the attention diverted.
For girls:
The loss of a sole close partner and friend causes a lot of pain to girls because of their reduced interaction compared to boys. Thus spending more alone time increases the stress and emotional pressure on the females therefore increasing the pain of breakup.
8. Handling the loss of a person who was your secret keeper
The secret keeper person in life is a necessity that is stolen after a breakup. This causes pain and aggressiveness in the attitude reflected by both genders.
For boys:
Boys have good company of friends and a large social circle which prevents them from completely collapsing from the loss of a close friend. They have their secrets distributed among their friends and their partner, as a result of which they don’t feel intense pain in this case.
For girls:
Girls lack the solid company of friends and a large social circle. Hence they face more stress and pain because they lost the only person with whom she shared her intimate secrets.
Recovery phase after breakup
The recovery phase, if not assisted by some other person becomes very difficult to complete. Coming to a normal track in life and leaving past experiences requires someone or something to assist you in finding your way out. The need for that particular person or thing varies among both genders according to their preferences.
1. Having someone to share moments of grief
The need for a person or a company to share the moments of sorrow and grief matters a lot for recovery in case of both genders.
For boys:
Boys require time to get comfortable with some new person. This is because they have an inbuilt characteristic of hiding their emotions and burying their secrets within them. Therefore the presence of a person to share grief and pain will speed up the recovery process but not to a great extent.
For girls:
The presence of a person who shares grief speeds up the recovery after a breakup to a great extent in case of girls. Girls have a flood of emotions to drain up most of the time and when they find someone to share those emotions then this can positively affect the recovery process.
2. Finding another intimate partner
The feelings of intimacy affect the process of recovery from a breakup. Depending on whether the desires are fulfilled or not, the process of recovery is affected in both genders.
For boys:
The recovery process becomes easy when someone is there to provide you with intimate comfort during times of emotional stress. But in case of boys, the presence of another person compared to his genuine partner doesn’t interest them much.
For girls:
The recovery process becomes very quick when a partner is there to fulfill intimate desires. For girls, this doesn’t matter which person is providing comfort and making them feel good.
3. Healing the emotional damage
The emotional damage done to the personality is the most difficult thing to heal. The devastating effects of missing the closest relationship appear in the lives of both genders.
For boys:
The emotional blow hits the deepest surface of the heart of boys making it difficult to recover from the blow of breakup. This is because boys have a deep emotional attachment to their partner especially if they are new to this field.
For girls:
Girls possess pre-mature and timely emotions compared to boys even if they are in a relationship. They suddenly need great emotional support but if not provided they cry out to relieve themselves of stress.
4. Devising ways for patch-up
Patch-up is a decision that most couples make to give themselves one more chance of progressing the relationship positively and learning from the faults of the past.
For boys:
Boys do not strive early for a patch-up unless their partner gives a signal or is forced by their surrounding people. They are of the mind that things cannot go the way they were before the breakup.
For girls:
Girls are mostly good at giving the first hand for a patch-up. This is because they think that conversations and forgetting past mistakes can solve the matter. They possess a more friendly nature compared to boys in the sense that giving a second chance might prove beneficial to save feelings.
5. Finding alternates for passing time
The ways to divert the thoughts and find something new to get engaged are searched by both boys and girls. This is natural behavior forced by their mind to relieve stress and anxiety.
For boys:
Boys mostly look for alternates in the form of addictives, wandering out with friends and looking for timepass girls. But their strategy is mostly not worth it because of the things they choose to forget the breakup.
For girls:
Girls can enjoy the refreshing moments of life even during the post-breakup phase of life. This is because of their interactive and lively nature which remains dominant over stress.
6. Getting into drug abuse for ignoring the loss of a partner
The use of additives is the most commonly used method because this can provide temporary relaxation to the mind in times of stress.
For boys:
Drug and alcohol abuse is the most common habit in boys even before a breakup but it dominates their personality, especially after a breakup. The boys are of the mind that drugs can seduce their minds and can bring them out of stress.
For girls:
Drug abuse is uncommon in the female gender but some adopt this habit to relieve the tense moments after the breakup. They mostly get addicted to medications or relaxants which help to induce sleep most of the time.
Long-term behavioral changes
The effects of post-breakup stress are continuously reflected in the personalities of boys and girls because of the lasting impact left over by body language.
1. Behavior toward family members
The behavioral changes are most immediately felt by the family members because they have very close relationships with their children.
For boys:
The boys develop an aggressive and arrogant attitude towards their family members. They do not accept love and care from anyone even their family members.
For girls:
They become close to their family members after a breakup because they get most of the care and love that they need to heal from a breakup. They become more respectful and obedient towards parents and try to gain their love and attention.
2. Behavior towards the peer circle
The peer circle holds the most important position in the lives of both males and females because they have the same minds and understand emotions.
For boys:
They interact and prefer to spend time in their peer circle because friends can engage them in other activities. This can relieve their stress and refresh them for the next day.
For girls:
They don’t have lasting bonds and strong peer circles because they mostly have temporary links and do not have that type of bonding with friends compared to boys. This is why they behave quite oddly and avoid most of their peer circle.
3. Behavior in social gatherings
The behavior in gatherings changes after the post-breakup stress and depression phase experienced by both genders.
For boys:
Boys remain isolated in formal and informal gatherings because they miss the person who completes them and becomes stressed upon seeing other people happy with their partners. They easily become annoyed when teased about their past.
For girls:
The behavior of girls varies according to the nature of the gatherings. If someone is there to accompany them and present them with genuine care, then they become relaxed and enjoy the essence of company.
4. Feelings and behavior after seeing a couple
The mood swings after seeing couples enjoying their moments can be really depressing and hurtful. The devastating effects are replicated in their behavior and attitude.
For boys:
Boys can become aggressive and violent after seeing couples happy because of rush of emotions. They miss their partner and intimate moments spent with her which can lead to drastic mood swings at that moment.
For girls:
Girls express emotions of jealousy and lack of confidence in their personalities. This is because they think they don’t have up-to-the-mark personality for a guy to love and care for them and seeing other girls happy with their partners can shake their self-confidence.
5. Attitude towards the ex-partner
The rage and hatred for the ex-partner is no out of box emotion in both genders. They blame each other for the misunderstanding and distance created among them which further leads to rude attitudes.
For boys:
They behave in a much better way even immediately after the breakup but remain unconvinced for the patch-up for a long time. They care for the feelings of their partner and still consider it bad to hurt her with his attitude. In times of emotional stress, the soft attitude can shift to a rude attitude.
For girls:
Girls already depict mood swings during normal life, hence breakups can increase mood fluctuations even at unexpected moments. But they can become convinced to patch up soon after the breakup and show a willingness to give their partner a second chance.
